Rampant Rabbit Hole
Tinder is an unappealing proposition. You match with someone who, more often than not, won’t respond to you because they accidentally swiped right or they are fickle (BRB doesn’t exist in their vocabulary). I don’t see how people are more addicted to swiping than actually looking. By comparison, it makes more sense to be trigger happy with your index finger when accessing Tinder on a computer. Another example of repetition is the number of people who constantly talk of having to re-join for the umpteenth time. This could be seen as another example of being fickle, except it’s good to have a new account if you have a new image and you want to impress a person who previously rejected you. There’s a worse type of repetition such as Tinder showing you someone who you have already accepted without changing your account.
Some people only join Tinder so as to assess how good-looking that they are so they can have the confidence to seek someone offline. However, too many people are kidding themselves with filters. As much as I detest plastic surgery, at least you know what you’re getting because you never know until it’s too late if someone is wearing hair extensions (including a wig or toupee). You can see why hair transplants are popular because the people who use them don’t have to worry about a mishap happening during an intimate encounter in the shower or a jacuzzi. A personality transplant is just as vital. People don’t realize how changing the words on their profile allows them to be shown to people who have used the same words. The algorithm is perceptive enough to make you question how evolved that A.I. is. The real joke is that too many people on dating apps have an artificial sense of intelligence. They will want you to prove that you’ve read their profile by referencing something that they typed at the end of their profile, but some people are savvy enough to have already scrolled down. This is why the know-it-all cool cats on Fab Swingers are not as hip as they presume themselves to be.
Speaking of Fab Swingers (whose subsidiary site Fab Guys is comparable to Tinder having a sister site called Bumble), a person’s identity can be verified by others in the form of testimonials. It’s like using LinkedIn to display references in the hopes of getting a job. Testimonials aren’t a thing on Tinder, but then Tinder is supposed to be classier despite the number of men who want to score notches on their bedposts. None of these sex sites request proof of STD checks, which actually means that you will have more chances of feeling safe if you were working in the adult entertainment industry. In Tinder’s case, there is no proof as to whether someone really has taken the COVID vaccine. In an increasingly superficial world, a lot of people strive for authenticity. Tinder might as well require verification of academic status, job description, age and proof of your partner being okay with you sleeping with other people. With dating apps becoming more expensive, Fab Swingers has proven to be a preferable alternative for many people.
I love Chinese women but so many of the women on there are literally the same woman. I know it’s a cliché to say that all Chinese look alike, but Tinder really is attack of the clones (or spambots). Virtual reality extends far beyond the realms of movies, TV shows and computer games. I despise and disapprove of people who use Tinder just so that they can improve their English, as if wanting a green card wasn’t enough of a selfish motivation. Call me a cynic but I think that the number of romantics and lotharios are outnumbered by people wanting to increase their Instagram following so that they can be seen as influencers. Such an individual has made a mistake which makes them become an inadvertent matchmaker since people will use the person’s followers list as a rolodex for dating. This will make the individual feel even more lonely, and they won’t get the validation that they were hoping for. The number of followers isn’t the same as the number of people who will actually follow your activity and like it.
At this stage of civilisation, you have to wonder if online dating is really worth it. Too many people overshare like displaying too many private photos of their babies on social media - the sort of photos which are really meant for actual photo albums. Privacy invasion is not strictly restricted to celebrities. Screenshots run rampant even if you haven’t offended anyone. All it takes is a reverse image search to see if anyone is using your photos, and - BAM - you get to sue that person. You would be surprised by the number of people who could have won copyright infringement lawsuits had they found out about people using their photos for humiliation or catfish purposes. Gifs have superseded emojis in a way which makes them redundant, but how will you make your potential partner laugh in real life? It’s like an actor who uses movies and TV shows as a reference point instead of actual life experience.
I can imagine that racist people are frustrated that Tinder isn’t like other dating apps in terms of allowing them to find people of their own ethnicity. It’s like they have to be confronted by the reality that their world is a bubble whose insulation was caused by their upbringing. The ethnicity quagmire is equally matched by the restriction placed on sexuality. Speaking of which, it’s weird that bisexual women feel the need to advertise their sexuality despite there being an option for the app to display it for them. Unlike other dating sites, being a horny guy won’t allow you to find bisexual women easier. On Tinder, you will have more success if you change your sexual orientation to bisexual so that you can use a search filter called “Show me people of the same orientation first.”
The search engine is faulty. Even if you don’t want global suggestions, you will still get them but not even the most desired of ones. You will often find women from Asia and Africa instead of Europe or America. Then again, maybe Tinder has used facial recognition software so as to ascertain my ethnicity. Maybe if I dyed my hair blonde and wore blue contact lenses, I could cheat the system somehow. People still cheat the system by lying about their age. People are surprisingly forthright about accidentally putting down the wrong age, although some women have to exaggerate about how old they are so as to not get approached by too many men (count the number of young-looking centenarians on there). It makes sense to lie on Plenty of Fish because the site won’t let you date people who are more than a decade younger or older than you. It will get to the point where dating apps require people to prove their age. OnlyFans has a facial verification software with the same aim but faces can deceive.
The desire for verification will eventually extend to a new gimmick: people have to smile on their photos so as to prove that they don’t have bad teeth. People who fail to comply will be either barred if they haven’t paid or they will be only shown similar people to themselves if they have paid. There is one aspect of Tinder where people can’t deceive. Searching for lovers within a certain radius is useful because the app determines people’s location by their phone signal instead of what a person claims. While it’s fascinating to see the number of foreigners who are on vacation in England, the foreigners don’t always mention on their profiles as to whether they are visiting or staying (unless you pay to message them). This radius issue also extends to a national citizen who lives and works in different regions. I can see why Plenty of Fish and OkCupid are still relevant because you are allowed to explore countries even if it means having to temporarily pretend that you reside in them.
If there is one thing about OkCupid that’s superior to Tinder, it’s finding people who have similar interests to you. Tinder’s so-called “Balanced recommendations (see the most relevant people to you)” doesn’t serve you the most relevant people first despite what five passions that you have chosen to represent your identity. In my case, metalheads and martial artists are not exactly coming to the forefront. They usually come much later. Another example of too little, too late is the prospect of seeing women who don’t have children and don’t want them. It’s annoying having to come across mothers and aspiring ones. The MILF concept is overrated unless you mean middle-aged women who are not particularly mothers. Speaking of age-defined terminology, how many middle-aged women are truly “mature” in the psychological sense?
Despite the promiscuous reputation of Tinder, I have yet to see women advertise their OnlyFans and ManyVids accounts. Hell, I’ve never seen adult performers on Tinder. Ironically, I have seen actresses on there but no-one of any stature. Give them time to become famous, and you will see how they can be the only ones to justify their status as being too busy to respond. This brings us to the final issue: people who join Tinder in the hopes that they can show past partners what they have been up to, so that they can make them feel jealous. You will be surprised by how photos of other partners can be used to give the false impression of hanging out with friends instead of lovers. It’s only a matter of time before an X-rated version of Tinder exists where people are allowed to post the pornographic equivalent to an Instagram story. If permitted, this would also include Insta’s boomerangs. If only Eddie Murphy’s 1992 movie Boomerang could have foreshadowed this.
