Elation and Deflation

Below is a Facebook transcript of a private conversation that I had with a rock music icon by the name of Inger Lorre…

Friday, 8/3/18, 10:41 A.M.

Hi Inger. I remember that you had a website where, in 2002, it was mentioned that you were completing your autobiography. When will you release it?

Tuesday, 8/7/18, 7:08 P.M.
Still working on it! Thanks for your interest!

Thursday, 11/22/18, 11:14 A.M.
Happy Thanksgiving! Here is my article about you and your band…
https://popcultmaster.com/2018/11/15/inger-singer/

5:47 P.M.
Thank you for sharing! I haven’t seen this. Who wrote it? (i’d like to personally thank them).

6:24 P.M.
Me.

6:47 P.M.
Who are you? I have a big book deal. I’d like to use you as my co writer.

7:13 P.M.
I am an unpublished novelist (5 novels) and author (a translated manuscript of a director’s memoir).

8:08 P.M.

I would love to be your co-writer.

9:37 PM
What’s your number and where do you live? Can you come to Hollywood or New York for a meeting?

9:39 P.M.
I live in England. I am in the process of renewing my passport, though.

9:39 P.M.
Ok. Take care of that! You’re gonna make a lot of money this year!!!

9:41 P.M.
Today is an American holiday celebrating when we left England! Haha! Anyway — I will FaceTime you soon! Send me your phone number as well. I’ll call tomorrow or Sunday. I’ll text first.

9.50 P.M.
You most definitely get it. I’m quite impressed.

9:51 P.M.
Thank you.

9:51 P.M.
I almost cried tears of relief while reading that article. Truly.

9:51 P.M.
I’m surprised that Zutaut wasn’t exposed in the Me Too movement.

9:51 P.M.
I did expose him.

9:52 P.M.
On Twitter?

9:52 P.M.
Facebook. I wrote Me Too Tom Zutaut.

9:52 P.M.
Hopefully he will be blacklisted now.

9:52 P.M.
Yes. He is already.

9:52 P.M.
Good.

9:53 P.M.
I’m strong. I’m still here.
I’m doing music, dog rescue and art.

9:53 P.M.
That’s what I love about you.
I love dogs.

9:53 P.M.
Major book deal too.

9:54 P.M.
The writer dropped out. She’s going through an ugly divorce.
That’s where you come in. Hahaha.

9:54 P.M.
I will be glad to assist.
How far did the writer progress?

9:55 P.M.
Haven’t started.
Simon & Schuster. Big time, baby.

9:55 P.M.
I like that publisher. Matthew Polly had his Bruce Lee book come out through them.

9:55 P.M.
Everyone is gonna read our book.

Thursday, 11/29/18, 5:52 P.M.
Hi J.J.
My publicist wants to speak to you, maybe meet with you.
She lives in London. Her name is Faye Blaylock.

6:01 P.M.
Speaking is probably best, since I have to save up money for an airplane ticket and hotel.

6:33 P.M.
Yeah. Sure. You can do it this weekend.

6:56 P.M.
I’ve sent her a Facebook message saying Hello.

6:59 P.M.
Perfect! Tell her who you are and that you wrote that great article for pop cult mag or whatever it is.

Saturday, 12/1/18, 7:55 AM
Send the article to Faye.

12:09 PM
I did. I sent her both a Facebook message and an e-mail.

5:46 P.M.
Do you want her number as well? She’s very busy.

5:57 P.M.
Call her tonight or tomorrow afternoon! Tell her that you will be writing my book with me.

6:00 P.M.
I will call her.

6:02 P.M.
She’s hugely busy. She works for Rock Sound and Mojo.

6:47 P.M.
I’ll text her.

6:47 P.M.
Great. She wants to meet you soon.

At 18:51, I texted Faye. I received a phone call from her at 18:53. This is how the conversation went down…

With boundless enthusiasm, Faye said: “Hi J.J.”

Taken aback, I replied by saying “Hi” in a polite manner so as to show how professional that I am when making business calls. Faye told me: “That was a great article that you wrote.”

Wanting to assure her that I am friendly, I responded in a more pleasant tone when I said: “Thank you.”

Faye asked: “Do you make money off your blog or it just a hobby?”

I never could make money off, so I replied by saying: “A hobby.”

Faye asked: “What do you do for a living?”

I responded: “A carer.”

In a surprised tone, Faye said: “A what?”

Me: “I’m a caregiver.”

Faye: “When did you first hear of The Nymphs?”

Me: “I had read Inger’s name on the sleeve notes of the Sea Hags album.”

Faye: “Oh, great album! How long have you known Inger?”

Me: “Since 2010.”

Faye paused a bit before saying something that hinted at why the previous co-author resigned: “Right. Okay, well, I’ve known for Inger for nearly twenty years now, and the thing about Inger is that you must be patient.”

Me: “Oh, okay. All I need now is a Visa.”

Faye: “That’s okay, all you will need is an e-Visa.”

After the phone call came to an end, I wondered how long that it would take for Inger to get back to me. Faye’s phone call came four days after Inger woke me up by calling me at 4:17 in the morning. You would think with them being friends for so long that Inger would’ve known the time difference. Unlike Faye’s two minute phone call, Inger’s call lasted for 54 minutes and 19 seconds. Here is what I remember of the call…

Inger: “Hi J.J. This is Inger.”

I winced and responded: “Hi, Inger.”

Inger: “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you? I thought that you were like twelve hours ahead. It’s around 10:00 P.M. over here.”

Me: “That’s okay; I don’t mind.”

Inger: “Anyway, your article was amazing. You only got one thing wrong.”

Me: “Oh.”

Inger: “Yeah, I wasn’t really a fan of Hole. I only said that at the time because I didn’t want to get on Courtney Love’s bad side.”

Inger made me swear not to tell anyone about why she couldn’t afford to be on her bad side, so I intend to keep that promise. What I am allowed to say is that I’m so grateful that I made that mistake, even though I was quoting her from an old NME article. However, it was good to put that falsehood out there because Inger’s phone call confirmed something about Courtney that I had believed for quite a long time. It’s ironic that Frances Bean Cobain (Courtney’s daughter) had revealed on Twitter and Facebook to be a fan of Nymphs, particularly Inger (including when Inger collaborated with Jeff Buckley). Back to the call, Inger switched on the speaker mode of her phone so I could hear her perform an acoustic version of Imitating Angels. This was one of the singles from the self-titled Nymphs album that was released in 1991. Before she played, she asked me if I played anything. I said: “Bass.”

I remembered from the previous decade that Inger had reserved her heart for her deceased fiance, Chris Schlosshardt — the bassist of Sea Hags. I was curious to know if she had moved on romantically. She responded with a sense of cheerful resilience: “Nope, still single. People tell me that I’m in love with a ghost, but I only have one true love.”

Wanting to learn about my background, she asked: “What do you for a living?”

I responded: “A carer.”

She quizzingly remarked: “I’m sorry, did you say a cab driver?”

I corrected her: “No, I’m a carer.”

She caught on by saying: “Oh, you mean a caregiver. In America, that’s what we call someone who cares for people. You can get somebody else to take over for you, right?”

I replied: “Yeah, sure.”

I remember Inger asking me for my e-mail address and postal address so a publisher would know where to send cheques. My information was also required because her literary agent is a film director named Lee Sobel, who has a resemblance to an English comedian named Harry Enfield. Back to the call, this is what Inger had to say about the upcoming book: “I want to include some of my own artwork to be displayed on the occasional page, like, every dozen pages or so. As you know, I used to study art. What do you think?”

I replied: “That’s a good idea. It will make the book stand out.”

She set me a homework assignment before the end of the call: “I want you to read other people’s memoirs so we can deviate from what they’re doing.”

Our collaboration never came to pass.